Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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