I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
