Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
