SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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