Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize