it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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