Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize