she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
