I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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