hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
