I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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