I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So much rum. So many feels.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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