Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
