he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
