Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
