Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
