He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
