So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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