Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
