Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
how drunk are you?
Several
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
