her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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