TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
