A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
