"it" just moved
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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