Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize