I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
