Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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