Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
