i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize