Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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