So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize