Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
