My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
