I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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