You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
