Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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