we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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