dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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