i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
