dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
