On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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