Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
