why im i the only drunk person in the library?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
