why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
