The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
