Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
