i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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