I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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