Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
