She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
