What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
