Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
