Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we should paint friendship bongs
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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