Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
