Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
