i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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