We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
