I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
