your room smells of hookers.
And success
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
