tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
