just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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