awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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