my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
